G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - 3 out of 4 Stars

Who Would Love This Movie: Folks who like action-driven, summer blockbusters

Best Mood to Walk In With: Energetic

Don't See This Movie If: You demand realism or subtlety


You know if you're going to like G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra already. Seriously, you do, so if you see it and don't like it, you should have watched the preview. As a summer, mindless, action blockbuster, I really enjoyed this movie. As a lover of fine films, I really enjoyed making fun of this movie. Therefore, instead of one of my normal reviews, I am going to tell you the top 10 ridiculous things to watch out for in this movie. :) Hope you don't mind me deviating from my normal format.

10. Rachel Nichols and Sienna Miller have all the boobies. And you know this, because they never cover them up and wear incredibly "realistic" costumes for espionage and the armed forces.
9. The inspiring acting of Channing Tatum...'s abs
8. Automatic, incredibly violent reaction of the kid trained in martial arts, though all martial arts teach that you never start a fight
7. The fact that Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be in this movie AND (500) Days of Summer AND have them released on the same day
6. The plotline of Sienna Miller having to be married to the scientist...If it makes sense to you, please explain it to me.
5. There is a long explanation of what all the cool things the accelerator suits can do, and then all they use them for is running really fast. Haha.
4. The detailed verbal explanations of the flashbacks, even though the flashbacks easily explain themselves.
3. The Hummer that is indestructible. Seriously, apparently Hummer beats gigantic bus.
2. This wording is stolen from Roger Ebert's review because he explains it much better than I ever could, "At one point the ice cap is exploded real good so it will sink and crush the G. I. Joe's submarine. We thought ice floated in water but, no, you can see big falling ice chunks real good here. It must be only in your Coke that it floats."
1. The dialogue...all of it. Seriously.

Thanks to Eric for helping me remember and compile these for your enjoyment. :)

All in all, G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra is better than this summer's Transformers and The Terminator , but definitely a popcorn flick. If you're looking for content, see Gordon-Levitt's (500) Days of Summer.

Movies Are Life. ~ K